meet the author & illustratorThanks for stopping by. 💜
C. Garland Miller (he/him) is an author, artist and creative copywriter who has been writing professionally for over a decade. He currently lives in the scorching Phoenix heat, and when he’s not telling stories, he enjoys spending time with his family & reading books about monsters. To learn more about him, check out this Q&A! Q: Is it true I once went to a waterpark with a vampire? A: I’m not sure how you found out about that, but I can neither confirm nor deny any circumstances surrounding the vampire waterslide incident of 2020. I can assure you, any rumors you’ve heard about a secret network of vampire waterslide owners controlling the country’s water amusement park industry are just speculation. |
Q: Who would win in an arm wrestling match, me or a bigfoot? A: This is a great question. Bigfoots (bigfeet?) are a wacky monster with not just unimaginable strength, but a strong odor to match. You ever smelled a wet dog? Imagine that x1000! So, I think it might be hard for me to concentrate long enough to win. UNLESS the bigfoot put on deodorant that morning. Then I might have a chance. Q: Have I ever met a ghost? A: Oo yes, I have actually met a ghost. Her name is Mavis and she smells like rose petals. We met at the ghost-ery store. I was buying booberry muffins, and she was looking for a terri-fried egg sandwich. We were instant friends! Q: What’s more aerodynamic, me or a fairy? Such a great question! Fairies have that super cool forest magic, and they’re tiny, so they can just zip about all over the place. Plus, they have pointy ears, which probably helps them slice through the air like a teensy magical fighter jet. BUT I shave my legs, and smooth legs = less wind resistance. Everyone knows that. Q: Who has more majestic hair, me or a werewolf? A: I mean … I don’t want to brag, but some have said I have the most glorious, grandiose mane of hair in the entire Sonoran Desert. So, if a werewolf (or any other monster) ever wants to challenge me to a hair flipping contest, I’m available. Just saying. Q: Am I a witch? A: Am I witch? I don’t know. Maybe! I do have a black cat. And some cool crystals. And delicious pizzas have been known to disappear into thin air when they come around me. PLUS, I have the power to write stuff down, like people or monsters or even whole worlds, and then anyone who reads it can experience it in their mind! That’s pretty magical. |